Air Force Chaplain Corps provides spiritual care and the opportunity for
Airmen, their families, and other authorized personnel to exercise their
constitutional right to the free exercise of religion.
What we strive to bring to you:
And Much More, Ask Us!
A Word from our Wing Chaplain – “I want our Chapel experience to be filled with warmth, love, good instruction, inspiration, and of course… free doughnuts. All are welcome, see you there!” - Chaplain Crandell
“Caring is not a Religious thing or a Military thing, it is simply a human thing.” - Master Sgt. Magee, 152nd Airlift Wing Chaplain Assistant
“The Chaplains may be officers, but see them first as friends and mentors. They are the last people you should ever stray from.” - Senior Airman McClain, 152nd Airlift Wing Chaplain Assistant
"So… What Else do we do? We also do magic tricks, play music, and cook. We will even come visit you to say ‘Hi’, just call us if you want to hang out!” - Staff Sgt. Taylor, 152nd Airlift Wing Chaplain Assistant
Marriage Minute #23
Four patterns of Courtship
Dr. Ted Huston. University of Texas professor followed more than 168 first-time newlyweds for fourteen years-from their dating years into their marriages. He identified 4 patterns of courtship.
1. Early Exiters – These couples should have never married. Their courtship was speckled with Emotionally draining breakups followed by passionate making up.
2. Firework romances – Madly in love, whirlwind romance. A beautiful burst that lit up the sky but quickly fizzled with unrealized differences and unrealistic expectations in marriage.
3. Status quo settlers – Their courtship lacked luster but set aside their doubts, thinking that marriage would breathe new life into their relationship. They stayed married but weren’t happy.
4. Stable loving investors – These couples didn’t have an overly dramatic courtship. They invested time in building a warm & cooperative relationship. Falling in love was a core ingredient in the making of a long-term romance, but also required the building of a strong friendship.
Let’s make our marriage last by spending our time pursuing a Stable Loving Investor. How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk, John Van Epp, Ph.D.
Marriage Minute #22
Are we that different?
While science has shown that men and women are in fact wired differently—that gender differences have as much to do with the biology of the brain as the way we were raised—we have difficulty accepting, let alone appreciating, our differences. So, what do men and women need to know about each other?
• Men say women are too emotional…Women say men aren’t sensitive enough
• Men say women don’t feel as much pressure to provide…Women say men don’t do enough housework
• Men say women frequently deny their real power…Women say men are afraid to be vulnerable
• Men say women talk too much…Women say men don’t listen
Making marriage work, however, does not depend solely on recognizing our differences. It’s a matter of appreciating those differences too. Saving Your Marriage Before it Starts, Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott
Marriage Minute #21
Four Communication Germs that Can Kill Your Marriage
Does it seem that you can never have a discussion with your mate without arguing? If this is true of your marriage, you need to understand what may be burrowing beneath the surface that causes these outbreaks. Relationship experts have identified four main relational “germs.”
1) Withdrawal – Withdrawal occurs when one mate shuts out the other after an argument starts.
2) Escalation – When mates become entrenched in their positions & focus on winning the argument.
3) Belittling – When one mate accuses the other of being dumb or stupid in their judgements and opinions.
4) Exaggerated or False Beliefs – One mate believing the other is intentionally doing things to weaken the marriage.
So, the way to kill these germs is to focus on the Win/Win method of communication. The best way to do this Is to look into the heart of the other without judgement and condemnation and make an effort to understand. Learning to negotiate differences is one of the keys to a happy marriage. I Promise, Dr. Gary Smalley
Marriage Minute #20
Communication: The number 1 reason for divorce
The captain of the Road Prison 36 in the movie Cool Hand Luke claimed, in his Southern drawl, ‘What we have here is a failure to communicate.’ How we communicate affects everything: the issues we deal with, whether or not conflict gets resolved, and ultimately how we behave toward each other. Whether you’ve been married for one month, one year, or fifty years, you have to work on communicating with each other; it does not come naturally. Communication is the fresh, breathable air of every relationship. Without communication skills, couples suffocate under the stress of unrealized expectations. So, here’s just one quick fact: Men talk to communicate facts or information, not to build relationships. Men tend to talk inside their own heads. But men, take note…One of the keys to sexual intimacy with a woman is something most guys would never think of: talking. Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage, Mark Gungor
Marriage Minute #19
Avoid needless conflict in 10 minutes or less
This exercise is called, “sharing with-holds.” It’s an easy strategy for sharing thoughts and feelings you may have withheld from each other. Write two things your partner has done in the last 48 hours that you sincerely appreciated but did not tell him/her.
For example, “I appreciate the compliment you gave me as I got out of the car yesterday.”
Next, write one thing your partner has done in the last 48 hours that irritated you, but you didn’t say anything about.
For example, “I didn’t like it when you said nothing about the meal I prepared last night.”
I didn’t like it when…._____________________________________________________________________________
Now, here’s the ROE’s:
1) Take turns sharing your three with the negative sandwiched between the two positives.
2) The person receiving can only respond with “thank you.”
3) You can’t discuss the negative for at least 30 minutes after you hear it.
This approach will allow couples to receive critiques in the context of affirmation.
Try this once a week, you might just like it. Saving Your Marriage Before it Starts – Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott
Marriage Minute #18
When we withdraw it makes things worse
That’s because the person who pushes the issue generally gets more frustrated and angry each time the withdrawer pulls away. And that makes the pursuer push harder—which makes the withdrawer withdraw more, leaving the issue completely unsolved. So what can you do?
• Remember you’re a team—you’re talking to find a solution, not to win
• Remember that your action will cause a reaction
• Start an important discussion gently and talk calmly—raising your voice doesn’t help
• If your partner withdraws, don’t push the issue. Take a time out and reschedule discussion
• Talk with your partner about the fact that avoiding a problem won’t make it go away
• Look for evidence that the withdrawer cares about you—it’s usually the issue, not you
• Withdrawing can be reduced when pushing is reduced
Marriage Minute #17
Conversing to Inform, Investigate, and Understand
If you have a defensive relationship, where your conversation tends to be critical instead of supportive, you may deliberately give each other misinformation. You may discourage investigation. You may be afraid to be understood by your spouse. A satisfying marriage will inform each other of personal feelings, interests, and activities. It’s being completely transparent with each other, hiding nothing. A satisfying marriage investigates each other’s personal feelings, interests, and activities without being demanding, disrespectful, or angry when you hear something you feel should be changed. A satisfying marriage seeks understanding of each other’s personal feelings, interests, and activities, which brings out the best in each other and avoids the worst. One of the most important ways for you to care in marriage is to respond to that understanding with changes in your behavior that promote pleasure and avoid pain for each other.” His Needs Her Needs, Willard Harley
Marriage Minute #16
Intimate Conversation – She can’t do without it
Second to the need for affection is the need for intimate conversation…at least for most women. The question is, ‘why do men find it easy to talk to women about personal concerns when they are dating’? First, he wants to know the woman and understand her. Secondly, he wants to learn how to be attractive to her. This shows her how much he cares about her and thinks of her. But after marriage he feels that he’s learned enough about her and he’s proven his care—by marrying her! He forgets that it was their intimate conversations that triggered her feeling of love for him. By removing intimate conversations from their daily lives, he removes one of the most important sources of love units into her Love Bank.” Gentlemen, it’s time to start having those conversations again! His Needs Her Needs, Willard Harley
Marriage Minute #15
Among the five basic male needs, spending recreational time with his wife is ranked second only to sex for the typical husband. So when a wife announces after marriage that she’s no longer interested in joining him in his favorite activities and that he should enjoy them with his friends instead, it usually comes as a shock. It also eliminates one of the most important ways that she makes Love Bank deposits. So, if you have lost interest in the recreational activities that you enjoyed while dating, maybe it’s time to create some new ones to enjoy together. His Needs Her Needs, Willard Harley
Browbeating and nagging doesn't work
I have discovered that we influence change in others far more powerfully when they can see how our own changes have worked for us.For example, I didn’t think my wife was exercising enough to maintain her health, so for many years, I badgered her to accompany me on my daily walks. She refused and began to react negatively because I brought it up so often. Finally, I decided to quit bugging her about her exercise, but I kept on doing it myself. And guess what? You’re right.Now she’s up to six miles a day (mostly at the mall). I couldn’t change her, but my own change motivated her to change. Dr. Gary Smalley, I Promise
Self-Concept – A Key to a Happy Marriage
Self-concept embodies the answer to ‘Who am I and do I like who I am?’ An unhealthy self-concept has been found to be a factor in nearly every aspect of poor mental health and poor relationships. Over 30,000 scholarly articles, chapters, and books have been published on self-concept. Not surprisingly, many of these studies find that marital satisfaction is positively related to a positive self-concept. Likewise, many of these studies have documented a negative correlation between low self-esteem and a fulfilling marriage commitment. A longitudinal study of 70 couples revealed that a person’s self-concept is one of the highest predictors of marital sexual satisfaction for couples. Suffice it to say, that when it comes to marriage, self-concept is a worthy area of exploration SYMBIS – Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott
A study asked couples to report nightly for two weeks how grateful they felt toward their partners from their day's interactions. In addition to gratitude, they numerically rated their relationship satisfaction and their feelings of connection with their partner. What did they find? On days that people felt more connected to their partner, they felt better about their relationship and more connected to their partner. Not only that, they also experienced greater happiness and satisfaction in their relationship the following day.
In other words, gratitude helps happiness linger. The benefits don't stop there. the partners of these grateful people felt more connected and were more satisfied with the relationship too. Amazing! Happiness that stems from gratitude is contagious in a relationship. Making Happy: Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott
Be blessed and Happy New Year!
Marriage Minute #7
Men & Women have different expectations of marriage
When a man falls in love with a woman, his thoughts go something like this: I love her, she’s great—in fact, she is perfect. I love her just the way she is and I hope she never changes. On the other hand, when a woman falls in love with a man, her thoughts are generally something like this: I love him, he’s great, but he really needs some work. Women like to work on relationships, and because marriage represents her greatest relationship, she enjoys working on it. But the thought of working on any relationship makes most men feel ill. You see, to a man, work is something you do to earn money. Relationships don’t fit into a man’s definition of work. We think relationship are the one class of things we should never have to work on. Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage – Mark Gungor
Marriage Minute #6
Stop Invalidating: It could garner you an A+ marriage
If you want to get better at cherishing your spouse, the best thing you can do is stop Invalidating. Bite your lip, blow off steam, walk away, let it go, resist the urge. Stop using that less-than-complimentary nickname. Stop rolling your eyes and sighing. Stop speaking poorly about your spouse and to your spouse. Deny yourself permission to assume the worst. Forbid yourself from lashing out. On the flip side, be forgiving when your spouse has a bad day. Quit with the sarcasm, criticism and insults. Quit talking about how she used to look. Stop bringing up that old argument – let it die already. Force yourself, despite every urge that screams otherwise, to stop invalidating. It will revolutionize – revolutionize – your marriage. Stay Married for Life: Dan Seaborn & Peter Newhouse, AACC Press: 2011
by, Ch. Donny Crandell, Chaplain
152nd Airlift Wing Chaplain Corps
It was an historic sermon when Jesus gathered his disciples to teach them the infamous sermon called, “The Sermon on the Mount.” Paramount to that sermon are the first twelve verses, (Matthew 5:1-12).
One of the key thoughts in those verses is when Jesus said, “Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.” How awesome would it be if you were so filled with mercy, (because of Jesus presence in your life), that it flowed out of you to: forgive others who have hurt you; empathize with other people who are hurting and motivated you to follow Christ…no matter what? That’s the blessed state that we can all live in according to Jesus.
This reality doesn’t have anything to do with outward circumstances like: getting a raise; being promoted or being complimented. Instead, we can be “sourced” with mercy by being in a relationship with Jesus Christ. The promise is that while we are filled with mercy and flow it to others we are replenished with mercy to flow it to others. Mercy in – Mercy out! Yes, mercy triumphs over judgement in the end as well.
Spiritual Preparedness for Deployment
by SSgt Tinna Taylor
Prepare yourself in advance for going overseas. Make sure, to the best of your capacity, that you have a good solid family care plan and that whoever it is that you’re leaving behind, is well taken care of and you don’t have to worry about anything back home so you can focus on your mission while you’re there. Be confident. Help to educate them. Don’t be too worried. I’ve been overseas with coworkers who had children who spoke about how much they missed them. This will be my first time leaving a child behind. We have to trust that everything we need will be provided because our mission is important.
Also, you might experience a little bit of shock in the change. Focus on your mission when you’re out there. There may be some casualties that you may come in contact with. We know that this sort of thing happens. So, try to get educated on it and become familiar with it. Reading materials are available. The more educated you get in advance, the better equipped you will be to handle it once it happens.
Know Your Resources.
Get as educated as you can on resources. There are many that are there to help you out. There are the Key Volunteers, AFRC, Military OneSource, Mental Health, to name a few. There are resources out there such as Chaplains and other resources. The Chapel Annex is a good place to hang out during your free time. The Chapel can also help you celebrate holidays overseas. You could also seek spiritual counseling from a Chaplain or even talk to a friend. If you have any work issues, use your chain of command.
Take care of your health.
Exercise, eat, and sleep well--both in transit and overseas. If you keep physically fit, it will also help you from being more susceptible to spiritual attacks. If you’re tired, you can’t think straight, and you’re grouchy, one thing could lead to another. There are plenty of ways for you to work out and stay in shape. They also try to keep you pretty well fed out there.
Maintain healthy relationships.
Make friends. Keep in touch. Definitely keep in touch with your loved ones. Let them know that you’re alright. And if you’re married or in a relationship, you should, of course, try to keep it strong by resisting temptation, keeping in touch, by being kind to each other and trying not to argue. There’s nothing more tragic than a person who goes overseas married but then comes back divorced.
Form good relationships. People will be anticipating your arrival and should show you the ropes when you arrive. So make sure you form some good working relationships and make some friends so you’re not trying to deal with everything alone. Especially develop relationships with people whom you trust. It’s very important. It makes the experience that much better. You’ll find that you’ll make connections, sometimes lifelong connections when you’re out there—definitely lifetime experiences. You’ll be surprised and amazed at how much you have in common with people from all the different work centers that you can share recreational activities with and hang out with during your free time.
You may even want to have a going away. You’re going to be missing some holidays and some birthdays. It’s okay. If you know which ones are important to you, and it’s almost that time to celebrate it, celebrate it early. I’m going to be missing a birthday, so we’ll just celebrate it early before I go.
Idle hands are the devil’s workshop. Participate in wholesome and constructive activities. Help others. Getting into good habits is a good practice. Praying whenever you have any questions or need any spiritual guidance. One way to prevent temptation from getting into bad habits is by keeping yourself occupied with productive, constructive hobbies while you’re there. There should be many things provided for you to do recreationally. I know for a fact that I will not only be enjoying working at the Chapel, but also hanging out and doing some other activities.
Find things to do. If you have time, you can work on self-improvement goals such as going to school, working out, or volunteering. Some of us have that opportunity to be able to do volunteer activities such as humanitarian work. Some places even give tours. Believe it or not, even though it seems like the long hours may not allow for after work activities, people tend to make a way. One thing that I’ve learned is that the busier you are, the faster it will go, and I know that through experience. Time flies and before you know it, you’ll be home. But it’s a great experience for broadening your horizons.
Do not fear.
One of the feelings you might be feeling is fear. If it’s your first time, don’t be afraid. Read inspiring passages like: “You shall not be afraid of the terror by night, Nor of the arrow that flies by day…” -Psalm 91:5. Study it, read it over and over again, memorize it. Trust in your God. Lean on your salvation.
Be thankful always in all things.
Accept blessings and help. One thing to be thankful for is just the little things—air conditioning, laundry service, etc. Be thankful for Tricare and financial stability. Be thankful that you have the support that you need at home so you don’t have to worry about it when you go. When you call or Skype your loved ones, thank each other and be thankful for each other. Also, there are total strangers that put together care packages and some free things for you. You should feel free to grab those. It’s their way of thanking you for serving their country. Be thankful that you live in and serve a free country.
Even though you’re in a strange place, remember who you are and why you’re there. Remember what you’ve learned. Stick with the Core Values. Keep in mind why you’re there and how important the mission is. You’ve been called to serve your nation. When you come back, you may or may not have a welcoming committee, but no matter what, don’t forget that what you’re doing is for a noble cause. Thank you for your service.
Decompress and reconnect.
So when you start getting ready to come home, you’re going to have to prepare to reconnect. It’s one of the things you’ll want to look forward to. To prepare, you may want to explain to whoever you’re returning to that you need a little bit of time to readjust and to decompress. Of course, you’re going to experience some jetlag and things like that. You’ll have some extra time that they’ll give you for that kind of stuff. Make sure you make good use of that time. Balance it out. There are people that are going to miss you. There are some changes that are going to have happened. So, prepare yourself mentally for whatever changes that might be.
Chaplain (Maj.) Donny Crandell
Chaplain (Capt.) Shay Gilliam
Tech. Sgt. Tinna Taylor, Ch. Asst.
Tech. Sgt. Chad Mitchell, Ch. Asst.
Senior Airman McClain, Ch. Asst.
Fellowship and Prayer
1300 Saturday & Sunday
WORRY FREE WEDNESDAY!!!
The 152nd Airlift Wing Chaplain, Ch. Donny Crandell periodically brings in guest speakers for our Worry Free Wednesday.
These discussions are provided free of charge--and you may even get to partake in some doughnut eating!
Join us on Wednesdays in the Wing Commander's Conference Room for Worry Free Wednesday.